At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
