it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
