he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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