We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
