I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
