thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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