Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have post one night stand depression
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