Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Houston, we have a blender
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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