I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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