I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
