I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
