I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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