You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
