Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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