I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
