hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
