i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
