An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
