I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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