I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
