your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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