i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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