Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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