Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
