dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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