he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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