I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
