Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
