Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
