I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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