yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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