How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
