you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Boobs speak an international language.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
