Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
