We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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