Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
