Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
