So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
