Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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