I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
