yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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