i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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