Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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