Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
