I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
