dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
