So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
