I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
