I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
