you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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